Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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