i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
