he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
