I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
