I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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