he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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