Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
