guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
