i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
