Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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