I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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