so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
