she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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