Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
