i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
