Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
