There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
