you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
