His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
