i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize