Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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