did you get engaged???
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
