If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
