Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
There r osticjed everywhere
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
