He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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