thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
