weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
