I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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