I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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