I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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