I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
