can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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