white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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