It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
