he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
