but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Sober January is a disaster.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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