Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
