The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
