i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
