Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
