OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
