i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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