i was born a porn star she said
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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