Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
