i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Dick very happy bro
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
