"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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