if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Randomize
