Don't make out with my wife yet
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
