4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Small penises have feelings too.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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