The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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