Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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