did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
