Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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