I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
